Friday, December 11, 2009
the medical field does a lot of things to you.
ever since medical school, i felt like quitting for quite a number of times. not that im weak, its the course thats eating me up.
itu pun, im quite lucky la that i did my studies overseas, i rase kalau dekat malaysia, i lagi stress kot....the people here, how should i describe it ha, hhmm...they are different.
sometimes, they are even psychotic.
seriously.
first of all, its the government. the hospitals selalu tak cukup stocks, selalu tak cukup macam-macam, sebab takde budget. kalau tengok equipment dekat dalam operation theatre tu, memang menyedihkan. nak gunting benang pun pakai scissors tumpul. bengkak bengkok semuanya....
mana tak nya infection rate is so high!!!!!!
secondly, the people here sungguhlah unappreciative. wtf la kan datang hospital, orang dah bagi MC and prescribe ubat, they throw away the ubat into the bin and keep the MC. macam sial! membazir tak reti bersyukur, thats my money and because of people like this la yang menyebabkan the doctors here are underpaid.
lepas tu, dah tak makan ubat tu, bila sakit masuk hospital masuk ICU. cuba bayangkan the kos, berpuluh-puluh ribu untuk satu patient, just simply because patient tak compliant dengan medication yang murah murah yang kite bagi free free tu....
bodoh okay, bodoh!
kononnye hospital is a safe ground la....berapa ramai barang kena curi dekat hospital? my slippers pun kena curi. berapa ramai orang kena ragut dekat hospital? berapa ramai orang kena rogol dekat hospital? dan juga berapa ramai orang assault dekat hospital?
speaking about doctors pulak kan......
kalau kitorang kena needle prick injury ke, mati dalam ambulance ke, ade ke kite dapat compensation? we work so hard for the government, tiba tiba kite dapat HIV sebab some stupid junkie masuk hospital menepis nepis jarum, what do we get in return?
worth it ke ade life macam ni?
baik i kerja jadi kerani okay. memang dah jadi kerani pun sebab banyak gila paperwork kena buat. lebih lebih lagi kalau dapat team yang tak boleh diharap. semua pun depend on kite.....kang kalau kite marah, die cakap kita berlagak, nak pergi report. tapi kerja diorang sendiri tanak buat! senang senang je sikit sikit nak panggil doktor.
i bagi contoh la okay.
patient complaint sakit perut. terus panggil doktor. bile i tanya elok elok, rupanya patient sakit perut nak berak.
sakit hati tak????? sakit hati tak satu hari you kerja penat-penat, masalah sakit perut nak berak pun you nak inform i. bukan tak boleh nak berak pun, cuma mengada-ngada tanak berak dalam pampers. all i needed to do is some coaxing. coaxing saja, tak payah ubat, itupun i jugak kena buat!!!!!!
i jadi doctor not for the money (sebab kitorang memang tak kaya pun), tapi kalau im looking for quality of life, baik i jadi engineer ke.............
kalau respect tu memang jarang jarang sekali i dapat. bukan i yearn for it pun, tapi courtesy la kan..........
i tak paham, medicine has long established, but massive improvements are not seen even after years and years. kalau you tengok medicine in malaysia 20 years ago, dengan medicine now, ade berubah banyak ke? ade kemajuan ke?
the seniors, selalu cakap we are lucky. semua pun senang.
20 tahun lalu
- houseman dilayan macam orang besar
- nurse sangat hebat sampai boleh tolong amik darah semua
- houseman can do anything to patients lepas tu boleh try and error
- so few patients akan sue diorang kalau something bad happens. sebab tu houseman dulu can simply cucuk cucuk and give whatever medication they think might work. kalau patient mati, nasiblah kan......
- dulu ade ke ACLS? diorang ade follow protocol ke? ade ke diorang kena buat CPR for 30 minutes at least? tau tak buat CPR tu sangat penat?
do you know how screw up my life is?
sekarang ni i sakit, and i tak excited pun dapat MC. im so abnormal. kalau orang kerja lain, punye lah suke dapat MC, i siap negotiate lagi nak dapat MC as little as possible.
doktor: sakit ni, you kena cuti 5 hari.
me: ha?????? kurang sikit tak boleh?
doktor: okay....i bagi 3 hari.
me: bagi 2 hari lah....
doktor: you nak kerja on sunday?
me: i tanak membazir my leave....
okay, tiba tiba i rase nak nangis okay.
and feel like quitting all over again.
the problem is, if i quit, i dont know what else i could do to menampung diri sendiri. i have no talents. im so not special..........
kadang-kadang i fikir, can i be happy? is it too much to ask to be happy?!!!!!!
oh yeah. im getting married.
sangat tak excited pun nak kahwin....dengan kerja 7 kali seminggu, dengan cuti 8 hari setiap bulan (MC included, kalau you amik MC, deduct your leave okay), bila mase i nak prepare and getting excited about my wedding?
setiap hari i balik and collapse. itu pun nasib baik rumah dekat.
help me.
i-lyn at 2:35 AM
